She’s judgmental. She sits atop her pedestal staring down. Her eyes burn right through you. As if they can see through to your soul. She watches your every move, just waiting for you to misstep. And then she makes her next judgment. You can’t escape it. It’s like she’s so focused on you that she’s forgotten about her own life. Or so you think.
But what if this pedestal she created had a different purpose? What if this throne she seems to sit on was intentional? What if it is what keeps her from falling? What if it keeps her from being like the same demon that helped create her? What if she’s too scared to come down?
She’s not perfect. In fact, she never claimed to be. When her eyes burn through you, it’s not in hatred. It’s in sadness. She’s been through as much as you, but you are too worried about what she might think to realize that. So you hide from her. She hurts for you. Because she knows what it’s like. And she’s faced the darkest person she’s ever known. She has her own demons and she runs from them… Every. Single. Day.
When she comes down, they find her. There’s nowhere for her to hide. And they take her over. She feels the darkness in her soul. Until she climbs back up. Until she overcomes them. And all she wants is for you to take the climb with her. But you won’t. And she’s forced to make another judgment.
She made a judgment call when she chose to become a wife. She made a judgment call when she chose to become a mother. She made a judgment call when she vowed to always keep her children safe. Even if it meant she had to keep them from those she loved the most. She’s been to some deep, dark places. And somehow, her judgment helped her claw her way out.
So yes. You’re right. She is judgmental. But not in the way you think. If you died tomorrow, would you be happy with the choices you’ve made? Could it be that she’s worried about where you’ll be when your real judgment day comes?
Judgment is gut instinct. And though she didn’t always listen to it before, it’s never steered her wrong. She makes judgment calls every day. Don’t we all?