We are sitting on the couch. It’s 10:30pm. Both kids are finally in bed and we can have some adult time to watch SOA on Netflix. Ahhhhh, how nice. Might even have a beer…
Then I hear it. WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! AAAAAHHHHHH!! AAHHHH, AAHH, AH!
Nope. I looked. No banshee. It’s our 8 year old daughter. WTF?! She’s screaming because it’s bedtime and she doesn’t want to go to bed. And she wanted to ask her dad a question. Are you kidding me?? Why not just scream the question? Wouldn’t that go over better? Now not only do we have a banshee in the house, we have one mad fuckin’ mama. And my husband would be the first to tell you…that never ends well for anybody. Not even him. The kids get in trouble. He gets in trouble. The dogs get in trouble. Not sure why, just seems like the logical order of the world, I guess. Or the fact that I’m a moody bitch. But that’s besides the point.
So, what the hell do we do? We take away her TV privileges the next day for acting like a baby at bedtime. We explain that we make the rules and bedtime means bedtime. But what does that do? It’s a temporary fix. I know all you parents out there have experienced it. They have one more question. Or they wanted to tell you something. And she wanted a drink of water. And he pooped but forgot to go pee. WHEN DOES IT END? And what the hell are you supposed to do about it?
Before the 2nd kiddo arrived, we didn’t have this problem. Now we do. Seriously…by 10:30pm, I’m done. D-O-N-E, done! I’m a firm believer in not sleeping with your kids. And that bedtime means bedtime. And it’s not like we just throw them in there and shut the door. The baby gets in his jammies, gets fed his night time feeding, and rocked for a little bit before laying down in his crib. Maddie gets in her PJs, picks out two books and Daddy reads to her in her bed. Then she gets tucked in…kissed goodnight…and she even gets her TV on a channel that she doesn’t like (History Channel or the cooking channel) until she falls asleep. They get night lights. What the hell else can we do?
My husband’s a little nicer than I am. He will answer the one last question, or the last ten questions. He will honor the one last request to pee or get a drink. Not me. (Like I said, I’m a moody bitch.) When we say it’s bedtime…that means bedtime. If they get up, the lose the TV…get up again, they lose the night light. And so on. And I know that as soon as Ollie’s old enough, he’s going to do the same damn thing. It’ll be the same cycle all over again. HOLY SHIT! Good thing we don’t have sex once the kids go to bed, or we’d be interrupted 8 times by children who are feeling a bit parched.
So that’s my Mama Drama. Now, what else can I do? This mama is ready to pull her hair out at bedtime. To all you parents out there, what are your solutions to get your kiddos to sleep on their own, and at a decent hour? Feel free to comment. At this point, I think my husband’s tired of getting in trouble, so we will try anything!